Freak out moments and other little things about pregnancy that they didn’t tell you

My mom and I relaxing in Maryland this October

Freak out moments and other little things about pregnancy that they didn’t tell you…that would be the name of my pregnancy memoir, if I were to write one, that is.  I am now in my seventh month (30 weeks, whoop!), and don’t get me wrong—I have thus far been really lucky throughout the last seven months (knock on wood).  I haven’t had morning sickness—or any nausea to speak of, really.  I’ve stayed active; walking almost every day and continuing to teach and practice yoga (yay!, so thankful). So, it’s not as if the physical aspects of this have been hard on me.  On the flip side, and these are the things I wasn’t exactly prepared for, there are so many other feelings and thoughts to deal with!  My husband and I are so very excited, this is our first child and it’s a little boy.  I can’t tell you how happy we are, it’s beyond words.  Of course, those other thoughts and feelings wake me up in the middle of the night.  Of course there are the usual worries of health and number of fingers and toes, and the financial worries, and the daycare worries.  But beyond that, I wonder if I am ready for this: to bring a new, beautiful person into the world.  Am I ready to care for him forever—do I have that capability for love?  That’s a lot of responsibility, unconditional love, I mean.  Is my heart big enough and is my mind open enough to teach this child, to nurture this child, to be there no matter what?  The good news is that I always come back to the same answer.  Of course it is.  Perhaps it’s my yoga practice, perhaps it’s the love I see from my own mother towards my two sisters and me, but I realize that the human heart is capable of indescribable love.  This goes beyond pregnancy and children.  I see this love exemplified in so many.  We are all capable.  Love is surprising and awe-inspiring.  It can truly make one do great things.  I think I am about to embark on one of those great things, and I realize that I really am ready.  And capable.  I have all the tools I need.